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Would You Rather Be Right, Or Would You Rather Be Happy?

September 16, 2008

I quote of course the great Douglas Adams. He opened strange and funny new worlds to us and taught us many things along the way but of all the profound things he said none are more pertinent to everyday life.

My father is... Well he's a difficult man. He will turn some one simple statement into a two hour tirade in which... Well he's a difficult man. For instance if he gets on a political jag he will just start saying absolutely the most absurd shit. When he starts getting political is like listening to Fox news on acid. For years—after I no longer lived with him when I did no one was allowed to have an opinion that wasn't his—I would have these knock down, drag out arguments with him. Finally one day I realized that I hadn't won any of these arguments because he never backs down off any stupid thing he says and he never apologizes for the things he does or says. So what's the point of arguing with him?

Look he isn't the president, he isn't a congressman or senator, he's not even a cop and I'm a grown woman now with my own house so... It doesn't matter what he thinks. Since he will never change his mind or admit to any wrong doing what good does it do to argue with him? I can always just smile, get up, and go home.

I'd rather be happy than right.

In every relationship in our lives we play out one of these roles. We're either that person who never backs down or we're the one who decides it's not worth fighting over that we can't win and we just admit defeat and go on. We know we're right, and it's not that we have no conviction; it's just that we realize we are powerless to change your mind.

Look it's very simple you can either be happy or you can be right. You scarcely in life get to have it both ways.

When you are like me and you've spent most of your life being the one who just decides it's not worth arguing over because you're powerless, then when you get into a position where you actually can win an argument—you know like you're the editor and publisher of a small press—there is this metamorphosis that takes place. First you have to remember that you're the boss and what you say goes. Until I did this I let writers bully me on edits and printed books that I didn't think were up to snuff. I made a lot of mistakes.

See there has to be a boss, someone in charge.

But now we have part two of being the person who's never been in charge being in charge which is that I know when people agree with me they are really thinking, "I'd rather be happy than right."

By the way, for the record, in the nearly seventeen years I have been married—this time—I have been right exactly once.

Selina

If you enjoy these bitches, please contact Selina directly at selinarosen@cox.net. Thanks!

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