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Today's Bitch

The Phone Call

May 19, 2008

I have a “friend”—I use this term with trepidation because the guy drives me crazy—who will always call when I least want to talk to someone and come over when I least want company or at least when I least want to talk to him or have his company. It's like he has some psychic super power.

I hate his politics, which have become his whole reason for living. He tells long, endless stories about how he's been screwed over somehow by liberals. Everything is about him and his opinion.

He called last night (OK. So this bitch is really late. This was some time ago. But he’s called an d come by several times since.) all torn up over whether they are going to take away his incandescent light bulbs or not. I was in the middle of watching a movie. He complains about the compact fluorescents. I tell him I've been running them in my house for years. On and on he talks. I miss the whole middle of the movie before I finally make an excuse to get off the phone.

Why do I put up with him? Why don't I tell him how the cow ate the cabbage and run his ass off? Because... He has very few people he can talk to, and we used to be good friends before he got sober and became a total right winger. See, alcoholics and drug addicts have addictive natures. Take away their main addiction and they have to find another. His became really right-winged politics—as in he believes the shit on FOX news and thinks Bill O'Riley is a moderate.

So he moved out of the city and way into the country to make guns for a living because of course the liberals are at any time going to force all God fearing folks into lives of servitude and... You know what? I don't like the left wing any more than I do the right, but I'll take socialism over fascism any day of the week.

So he moves away from all his friends into the middle of no where with his wife who is about as enchanting and intelligent as a rock and... Well now he's totally isolated and even though he calls and comes over at the worst possible times I can't just blow him off because I know exactly how it feels to be cut off from humanity. While I hate the guys politics I do actually like him and we can still mostly agree on gun laws, capital punishment, and welfare, so I steer the conversation that way when I can.

But I swear, talking to him zaps my strength. If I was super man he'd be like kryptonite. Just talking to him makes me tired because I'm constantly on the verge of arguing with him and I don't like to argue, or trying to steer the conversation away from his addicted areas.

Truth is... He was a lot nicer guy when he was a drunk, but he was killing himself so how can you ever say to him, “You know I liked you better when you were a drunk.”

I've seen addicts do the same thing with religion. They just have to have something they do to the extreme. They can't just lead normal fulfilling lives, no... They have to do something that drives everyone away and isolates them... Maybe they just don't really like people?

Selina

If you enjoy these bitches, please contact Selina directly at selinarosen@cox.net. Thanks!

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