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Disappointment

March 18, 2010

I’m very disappointed in my career. This annoys some of my peers because they think my position is enviable.

Disappointment in anything is directly related to what you thought you were going to get and what you actually got. Eastern philosophy teaches that the key to happiness is to desire less. No doubt this is an absolute truth. I also believe that this is without a doubt impossible for mere humans.

You ever really listen to one of the big hoo-ha monks talking? They’re always saying things about desiring less, being humble, being happy to exist, embracing selflessness, having no ambitions for worldly things, and then as they’re talking you realize that thousands of people are throwing away their worldly things and listening to everything this hoo-ha says. His desire — his goal — was to be more selfless than everyone else. His ambition was to be seen as having no ambition. That fucker has everything he ever wanted!

He’s not kidding me.

My career really disappoints me because when I first started out in this business I wanted really amazingly huge things — sell millions of books, get a movie contract, win all the big awards, and have everyone know who I am. Through the years, as reality reared its ugly head time and time again, I kept lowering my expectations and making ever more realistic goals — until I got all the way down to “I’ll be happy if I can just make a living. It doesn’t even have to be a good living. I’ll still walk the streets collecting cans to sell. I just want to make a living.”

It’s distressing to me that in the last five years most of the members of the working class, myself included, are incapable of attaining even the smallest goals we have made for ourselves. It’s sad to think that any ambition, no matter how small, is no longer any more realistic than all the big, lofty goals we made in our youth.

And while we have to abandon even our most modest dreams, the Rich are getting richer than ever.

Have you felt the miasma that’s fallen over the country? The reason for it is clear to me: In the current political climate, we are losing all our rights, the Rich and a fistful of religious extremists are making laws that serve themselves, and there doesn’t seem to be any way to stop them. They stole at least one election, and now we feel like even our vote is useless. The idiots the other jerks keep running for office are a joke and only slightly better than the dickwads we wound up with.

It seems like we just can’t win.

The Rich in this country have been in power — on both sides —way too long. The Privileged and Powerful have forgotten, in their lust to make the rest of us serve them, that it’s not in human nature to just accept defeat. To constantly have to accept less than what we desired as just what we need. They have forgotten that in every single civilization in the past, when the chasm between the haves and the have-nots got too wide and deep to be bridged, the peasants rose up and killed all the filthy-rich fuckers who were making their lives hell.

I’m not going to call for revolution — yet — but I’m also not going to give up my tiny dream of making a living at my chosen profession. I’m just going to keep hacking away, keep voting, keep talking, and keep hoping that someday soon America’s going to rise up, go to the window, and yell, “I’m mad as hell, and I’m not going to take this anymore!”

Selina

If you enjoy these bitches, please contact Selina directly at selinarosen@cox.net. Thanks!

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