Books & Stuff eBooks Podcast Sales & Deals Today's Bitch Links Guidelines Contact Us Home

Upcoming Cons

Placing An Order

About Yard Dog Press


Today's Bitch

Really? That’s What You’re Pissed Off About?

January 2, 2014

My dad used to go into this rant about how he was tired of having to tiptoe around and watch everything he said to keep people from being pissed off, but no one tiptoed around him.

My dad was pretty out spoken. The truth is that most of the time we all watched every word we said because we didn’t want to incur his wrath. But here’s the thing; he was still right.

Now in my old age I find that most people think I’m pretty outspoken; they say that I intimidate them. And yet most of the time they seem to just be going out of their way to piss right on my parade, and G-d forbid if I should say anything at all to them.

I have started looking back at my dad’s tirades, and I find myself trying to figure out how many of them really were egged on by us and how much he swallowed before he was so full it just spilled out.

I am often surprised to learn that someone is pissed off at me, and when I find out why they are I am even more puzzled because if I made a list of things they’d done to me it would be pretty long and pretty damning. Yet they will become completely outraged over the smallest thing that I do or even something I didn’t do, but because I didn’t take their side and… “Hello I didn’t take your side because you were wrong.”

That said, I don’t believe in keeping score but at the same time blowing something minor into a shit storm means you by G-d better have your house clean. In other words, if you’re going to judge me and find me wanting, then you better make sure you have not done or aren’t currently doing something far worse to me or anyone else.

And here’s the thing. If we’re talking about the misunderstanding, and I’m trying to explain myself and your only answer is, “But I’m right,” then you lack any ability to actually put yourself in someone else’s shoes for a minute. If you get pissed off over something that makes me say, ”Really? That’s why you’re pissed off?” But then if you piss me off your answer is, “That wouldn’t piss me off.” Then why don’t you understand that I don’t understand why you think what I did was so bad?

I can look at why you’re mad and say ok I can see why this bugs you but I didn’t do it to piss you off. In fact quite the opposite, if I thought it was going to piss you off I wouldn’t have done it.

Now really take a moment and think about that. There are some spiteful, vengeful people in the world who do go out of their way to do you harm. Take a blade and gently remove them from your life. And there are people who are such fuck-ups that they are a walking excuse, and they will do something without thinking how it will affect other people just because it works for them in the moment. Avoid them when you can. But most people, especially people who love you, piss you off because they don’t understand exactly how your brain works, and guess what? You piss them off for the same reason.

In a healthy relationship people get together and they talk this stuff out. They tell you why they’re pissed off, you explain yourself, and hopefully you figure out how to be around these people.

And then there is family — which is almost never healthy human relationships. In a family you have all this crap going on, and more times than not people never really give each other the same break they would give a bum off the street. Why? Because they wrongfully think you have to put up with their shit. You don’t. You will think you do for most of your life, and then one day you just know… “I don’t really need them. I don’t have to be around them.” And then you can take a deep breath and know that you don’t need them but you still want them. Maybe not all of them, but probably most, you actually want to spend time with. If they don’t want to spend time with you then that’s their loss.

Who knows? Maybe someday even families will learn to respect each other’s boundaries. Maybe they’ll come to understand that I can have different rules in my house than you have in yours, and if we all respect each other’s rights to govern our own space we should all be able to get along.

Selina

If you enjoy these bitches, please contact Selina directly at selinarosen@cox.net. Thanks!

• Return to Today's Bitch Archive •

• Go to Current Bitch •



Copyright © 2015 Yard Dog Press. All rights reserved.
Home | About | Order | Guidelines | Contact